So I joined a Doctor Who forum, looking for wild speculation and the rating of episodes. But, masochist that I am, I almost immediately got caught up in political conversations and they took an ugly turn. In a discussion about the recent Family Guy episode about the mentally disabled, I said that it is morally reprehensible to make jokes that trivialize the experiences of marginalized populations and contended that no, it doesn't make it fair and equal if you make fun of everyone. I was mocked and treated like a radical for suggesting that we should consider how our words affect others. Take note, everyone, compassion is apparently a radical political act.
It got out of hand, made me pissed and stressed, and was emotionally exhausting. In a last-ditch effort to get someone (anyone) to exhibit some compassion, I told a personal story about experiencing violence because of one's gender. I was told I needed to attend therapy because I clearly had a stressful life. I was dismissed and labelled crazy, basically. It was extremely upsetting. So I left the forum, and was reminded of why so many women avoid sci fi fan culture. Lesson learned.
(Sorry such a short post. I'm just still really upset.)
20 February 2010
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3 comments:
Ugh -- I'm sorry, Courtney. I've gotten into a few of those on-line tangles (with people I know and people I didn't), and they always crawled around under my skin for days. When will I ever learn?
I've had bad forum experiences before, too, so I should have known better. Thanks for the sympathy. :)
I had a rough patch like that on one of the fan-forums I frequent... about games... FOR WOMEN.
Yes, even in a place I thought I could consider a safe space, I was dragged though the ringer for even suggesting that "Yunokikins" was a hurtful person because he likes to mentally abuse the main girl, even after you get with him.
It made my head hurt that fellow women were the ones going after me, since I said their favorite (fictional) man might not be such a good choice for a relationship.
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